Archive for July, 2006

Why Girls Hate Me

Sunday, July 30th, 2006

ContraDeLaHoya: are you an aliens fan?
girl: alien vs predator, I thought it was a cute movie
ContraDeLaHoya: oh
ContraDeLaHoya: never saw it
ContraDeLaHoya: heard it was a travesty to the aliens and predator cannon
girl: mhm
girl: aka, cute
ContraDeLaHoya: man im such a loser

Does This Thing Have Automatic Windows? - Bahamas Day 5

Thursday, July 27th, 2006

(This is Cody)

We went to a fish fry and there was a surprisingly large amount of locals there. We danced to Lil John, C+C Music Factory, a Reggae cover of The Outfield’s Your Love, and many other jams. I hung out with the “crew” as they talked about girls, girls, and more girls. I was offered weed by some guy in a ski cap but I declined.

There is this kid named Cody here who we have developed a love hate relationship with. The first day we were here he put Kevin in a head lock after knowing him only a few minutes. You know those kids who you meet one time on vacation, they are absolutley crazy, and then you know you will never see them again. Cody is that kid. Or remember the kid at the beginning of Home Alone who keeps asking the van driver all the questions about his vehicle? Yeah, Cody is that kid. This kid will do anything you dare him to do and shows up EVERYWHERE. We are fishing, there goes Cody hanging off the front of a boat. We are walking to the fish fry, there goes Cody zooming by on a scooter.

Total Eclipse Of The Heart - Bahamas Day 4

Wednesday, July 26th, 2006

Last night the power at the resort went out along with half the island. It was a very eerie feeling. I could only think about the comments I made about being one man vs the world like in Assault On Precinct 13. There I was in a desolate maze of hallways and stairs, in a foreign country, with no power… anything could happen. World War III, zomie infestation, or worse… escaped prisoners and enraged gang members. Anything didn’t happen. I just sat under a flood light and read a book.

Not much went down today, except the fact that I ROCKED the karaoke party. I pulled out a crowd favorite, Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse Of The Heart. I started the song out pretty calmly but by the end was leaning over like James Brown and belting out lyrics like Freddie Mercury. This display of stamina gained me entry into the “crew” which consisted of me, a bunch of military frat boys, and this kid named Kevin who sung Kid Rock’s Cowboy. (Nobody ever realized that song was so dirty.) We all sung Don Mclean’s American Pie with our shirts off and ended to glorious applause. Video was recorded. I’ll post eventually.

* A funny note. Halfway through my song I bitterly dedicated it to an imaginary girl named Cindy. Everybody was looking around and wondering what the I was talking about. Some girl I had talked to earlier that night thought I was talking to her and was looking around all confused.

*SOILERS AHEAD*
Galapagos was finally finished tonight. The novel describes the events leading up to the last pocket of humanity on earth as narrated by Kilgore Trout’s one million year dead son, Leon Trout. Weird? Right. Long story short, a small party of vacationers become stranded on an island where they must re-populate the Earth after a deadly disease ravages the planet. The disease is only mentioned in a small passage halfway through the novel never to be expounded upon. The vacationers don’t reach the island until the last 7/8 of the book and the entire beginning focuses on their relationships with each other in a small hotel awaiting a ride on the “nature cruise of the century.” Vonnegut again amazed me with his ability to paint a full picture of events without describing or detailing some of the larger events that push the plot.

I helped some older couples in the computer room today with their e-mail and it was pretty rewarding.

Its Judgment Day - Bahamas Day 3

Monday, July 24th, 2006

I slept in pretty late today, then woke up headed over to the beach and snorkeled for a bit. Had a pina colata at pool bar and then headed straight for the computer room. Yes, yes I know I am a total loser for spending two hours in the room but I was working on the blog, some Carlo Of Hollywood research, and a little office work, so cut me some slack!

We took a boat over to Lakaya Bay where they have shops, restaurants, and fancy perfume stores. I wasn’t really interesting in any of that, I was on the prowl for bootleg movies and cds. No dice. The only music store I found was full of over prices newly released media much like the music stores in airports. I almost bought Daft Punk’s Chronology album but I already have every track on it so what is the point?

I found an arcade with the Terminator 2 arcade game in it. Do you have any idea how much this game kicks? I will tell you… A LOT! Although the gun censors were messed up on the machine (as all the games in there were slightly out of order) it still brought back some good memories of the early 90s…. hanging out in Tilt (the local arcade) and playing After Burner, Mortal Kombat 3, and Killer Instinct.

I will DEFINITELY finish Galapagos tonight.

Assault On Freeport - Bahamas Day 2

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

I woke up sometime around 8 o’clock and was told something about a free continental breakfast (aka bagels and cereal) at 10:45 but I went back to sleep and slept right through the breakfast. We had eggs and ham for breakfast so I wasn’t too upset about missing the free stuff. After that I took a shower and then spent 10 minutes putting on this clear Bullfrog brand sun block that nearly suffocated me with its fumes. We went to the beach and hit that snorkeling action big time. We were all scoping out the undersea community but I was really just trying to find cute girls hanging around. There were a few but they were all with dudes or something. Not like I would care enough to do anything about it even if they weren’t. Then there was this guy in a Speedo taking pictures with his buddy along the shore. They were doing all kinds of strange and provocative poses that made me think they might more that just buds, but who cares…. its the Bahamas!

At the pool side bar we hung around and drank pina coladas and I tried this special drink my man Carlton (the bartender) makes. When I say poolside I really mean poolside as you can enter from one end while still in the pool! Yeah… you just swim right up. Can you say lounging in STYLE? Then I went back to the room, watched some VH1, realized I hate the show My Fair Brady and then went to sleep. I would periodically wake up and be confused as to what time it was or if I should be doing something but would soon realize I was on vacation and I don’t have to do crap.

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Getting Live In Freeport - Bahamas Day 1

Saturday, July 22nd, 2006

I am on the island of Freeport in the Bahamas and so far it has been and interesting experience. I stayed up all night Friday to leave at 3 AM and drive for three and a half hours to Ft. Lauderdale to catch a four hour boat trip. The boarding process was a bit of a crazy cattle call with us moving from station to station, getting this paper signed and then this slip stamped, followed by this tag folded and so on.The boat was basically a glorified casino ship, if you have ever been on one of those. We ate at a breakfast buffet, slept in the Starlight Lounge and I hung out in the “Disco” playing Primal Rage, Cruisin’ USA, and Super Spy on the NEO-GEO Three in One arcade machine (FREAKIN SWEET!). I didn’t really get any rest out of my small nap as I was laying face down on that hard airport style carpet that these kinds of establishments often install. During my sleep I was also vicariously a guest to a black families’ reunion and I got pretty jealous of how awesome it was. There was singing, dancing, an African fashion show, jokes, freestyling, etc. White people are pretty much lame when it comes to doing anything in a large social group and not making a fool of themselves.

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I Got 81 Dancing To The Rapture Today

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006

So I am in the office and my business partner who daylights as a kids camp counselor calls me up in dire need of a dance mix. I put a lot of my dance songs on a external hard drive I didn’t have with me but of course I couldn’t let him down. So I started scouring music blogs, limewire, and some old files to compile the following dance mix in 10 minutes:

C+C Music Factory - Everybody Dance Now
Ace Of Base - I Saw The Sign
The Rapture - Sister Savior (DFA Dub Edit)
Casper - Cha Cha Slide (That song you hear at EVERY wedding)
The Real McCoy - Rhythm Is A Dancer
Bob Sinclar - Beat The Clock

I made the five minute trek to the community center and walked in to find 81 kids playing musical chairs to Brittney Spears. Josh was MCing on the karaoke machine as I delivered the mix. I stayed around to watch the antics ensue. I was asked by a young black girl with a TON of sass who I was. I told her I was Josh’s homeless business partner, as I was wearing a worn Adidas shirt, green gym shorts, and busted up aqua socks. Finally the Rapture track came on and I just started laughing at how awesome the situation was. Here are 81 kids under the age of 12 listening to this totally sick track… and not even the original version mind you but a DFA edit! In two weeks I will be throwing a dance party there for the kids. This will be Carlo Of Hollywood’s first live DJ set.

Fun On AIM

Saturday, July 8th, 2006

ContraDeLaHoya: hey

My Friends Little Sister: hi

ContraDeLaHoya: whats up

My Friends Little Sister: sry this aint justin

ContraDeLaHoya: oh ok

ContraDeLaHoya: sorry

My Friends Little Sister: :-\

My Friends Little Sister: yah this is his sis

ContraDeLaHoya: oh ok

My Friends Little Sister: so who r u?

ContraDeLaHoya: nick

My Friends Little Sister: nick z?

ContraDeLaHoya: no

ContraDeLaHoya: nick jade

My Friends Little Sister: o0o i dont no u

ContraDeLaHoya: have you ever seen laguna beach>?

My Friends Little Sister: duh !!y?

ContraDeLaHoya: ive been on it before

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