The Vegas Window

Interview with Feable Weiner conducted 4/25/06 via e-mail.
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Feable Weiner plays live with Cruiserweight, Inkwell, and Memoranda at the Melbourne Jaycees on May 10th! More info at littlereggies.com!

Nick: What is your writing process like? Are the songs written primarily together as a band or do you separately work on tracks and then bring them to the table?

Atom and Josh: It just depends. There’s no one way we write all of our songs. Most of the time though it’s the two of us writing the hits and then bringing them to the band to make even better.

N: How would you compare playing for American audiences compared to European audiences? Is there a significant difference in crowd interaction and response?

A and J: We have incredible fans everywhere that travel unbelievable distances to see us, and for those fans we’re extremely grateful. And there are many, especially in the UK. There is no difference in Europe and the US except the volume of our fans. We have the ability to sell out a tour in the UK, whereas here in our home country we have to understand that that is less likely to happen, which is fine by us. Only a matter of time now.

N: Do you keep a fairly consistent touring schedule?

A and J: We were recording a record for half a year and we’re just now done with mixing. We’re now turning our focus to reminding everyone in the states that we’re still a band since our touring as of late has been overseas. (more…)

A few nights ago I watched Barb Wire on Sci-Fi Channel. I had a big long speech planned in which I would make fun of director David Hogan (who also worked on Alien 3 and Batman Forever… oh wow!), the film’s blatant similarities to Casablanca, and Pamela Anderson’s breasts that appear 3 seconds away from completley exploding like bobombs.

If this is what life is like after the second civil war I really hope I am on the North’s side, who lost the original war, and I die. HERITAGE NOT HATE!

I think my roomate Brett’s single sentence review summed up Silent Hill nicely:

“It was like watching the holocaust except no one stopped it in the end.”

The film begins like every horror movie you’ve seen: vague mystery, creepy scribbles, and an even creepier child. But about halfway through, the format shifts. The viewer is transported into a realm of pure dismay. Horrible creatures and humans alike are morbidly massacred, and the cameras never turn away. Faces melt off, bodies are skinned alive, people are torn to pieces (and those pieces are subesquently “squished” between someone’s bare feet). Instead of watching a movie meant to make you jump, it felt as though the movie wanted you to actually experience Hell.

Maybe that really was the point. If so, it succeeded ten-fold. There was no hope to speak of in the entire film. No secret weakness to an enemy who embodies evil. No heroes to stand behind. Morals? Psh! It was simply hopeless, and nearly pornographic in its sadism.

All of this may greatly appeal to horror fans. Personally, I feel so crappy after watching Silent Hill that I physically need to sit down, eat some Lucky Charms and watch a joyful cartoon.

Neverland, here I come.

p.s. One could jump to the conclusion that someone who was so repulsed by a film would be gung ho for censoring it. That person would be wrong, but I won’t delve further into politics at this time. If it doesn’t sound like it’s your cup of tea (as it clearly wasn’t mine) don’t watch it. But for Heaven’s sake don’t use my words to in any way justify a book burning. End.

Drawing By Nick:

A more straightforward explanation is that George Lucas, in writing the script, simply did not remember or realize that parsecs are not time measurements. According to some sources, Lucas did realize this, but wished to portray Han Solo as an absent-minded braggart who simply did not know what he was talking about. The bemused reactions of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker to Han’s quip suggest that this could be the case.

Han Solo may be an absent-minded braggart but if there is one thing he knows, it’s the Millennium Falcon (and Sabacc). If Solo boasts about the Kessel run, expecting to impress Luke and Ben, I highly doubt he would use a completely wrong increment of measure to do so. This guy knows how to navigate hyperspace and avoid passing right through stars or bouncing to near supernovas. I am sure he knows the correct use of the term parsec.

Fans often forget that before their demi-gods were such they were normal people who drank coffee, used the bathroom, and made mistakes. (In some cases they still do *cough* Greedo shooting first *cough*) We will look to the script drafts on Starkiller: The Jedi Bendu Script Site for reference. It is not until the fourth draft of Star Wars that the scene in question appears:

HAN
Fast ship? You’ve never heard
of the Millennium Falcon?

BEN
Should I have?

HAN
It’s the ship that made the Kessel
run in less than twelve parsecs!

Ben reacts to Solo’s stupid attempt to impress them with obvious misinformation.

HAN
(continuing)
I’ve outrun Imperial starships,
not the local bulk-cruisers, mind
you. I’m talking about the big
Corellian ships now. She’s fast
enough for you, old man. What’s
the cargo?

Problem solved right? There it is, right in the script by Lucas himself! Not necessarily. Note on the Starkiller site that this fourth draft was published as:

Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope, from the Journal of the Whills. Public Version of Fourth Draft. As published in The Art of Star Wars, Ballantine 1979. Dated: “Revised Fourth Draft, January 15, 1976.”

Although it claims to have been written a year before the film was released, this script didn’t appear publicly until two years after. Here is another revised version of the fourth draft dated March 15, 1976:

HAN
Fast ship! You mean you’ve never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

BEN
(amused)
Should I?

HAN
It’s the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 par-sec’s! I’ve outrun Imperial starships, not local bulk-cruisers mind you. These are the big Corellian ships I’m talking about. I think she’s fast enough for you old man. What’s your cargo?

BEN
No questions. Is it local trouble?

BEN
Let’s just say we’d like to avoid any Imperial entanglements.

Is it possible Ben’s reaction was simply added as an afterthought for the 1979 public release of the film’s script. The answer isn’t definite… but at the risk of sounding too much like a fanboy I would say the evidence against Lucas’ divine perfection is a little too heavy to ignore.

They were just making fun of Dakota Fanning on VH1’s 40 More Awesomely Bad Fashion Moments. The line went something like, “… wearing this hideous outfit at the Japanese premiere of War Of The World.” Let’s stop for a minute. If I were a C-list star/comedian/magazine editor/columnist on a mid-day filler show I wouldn’t be making fun of TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRLS who go to Japanese premiers for multi-million dollar films. Here is an idea for a new show VH1, it is called VH1’s 100 Worst Show Ideas. Here is how you compile the shows, exclude Pop Up Video, Behind The Music, I Love the 80s and throw everything else in the melting pot.

To all the participants in VH1’s 40 More Awesomely Bad Fashion Moments, this is what a twelve year old girl who is richer than you looks like. ———————->

Transcribed from Wikipedia:

The Kessel Run is a pathway from planet Kessel in the Star Wars galaxy used frequently by smugglers in the transport of precious Glitterstim spice.

A well-known but confusing description of the Kessel Run is made by Han Solo in A New Hope when he boasts to have made the run with the Millennium Falcon in “less than twelve parsecs.” A parsec is a unit of distance, not a measure of time or speed. Some have explained this apparent error by postulating the presence of a black hole cluster (The Maw) close to Kessel, which is used by pilots to shorten the distance of the run.

According to Expanded Universe literature, navigating the Maw black hole cluster is extremely hazardous. Ships making runs must take long complex courses to avoid the dangerous singularities and gravity distortions of the cluster. However, it is speculated that Solo brazenly shaved by the gravity wells, thus achieving a run under a distance of 12 parsecs where a safer route would be much longer. This shorter run, by necessity, would require a faster ship than more circuitious routes, since a slower ship would not be able to resist the gravitational pull of the closer black-holes.

The question of whether Solo was boasting about the speed of his ship, or his skillful abilities at piloting is still debated amongst fans. One could also look at the wording of the quote and consider Solo may have been mentioning another aspect of the Falcon’s fame that is unrelated to its speed - that she earned prestige for surviving a dangerous short-distanced Kessel Run, as well as being “fast”.

A more straightforward explanation is that George Lucas, in writing the script, simply did not remember or realize that parsecs are not time measurements. According to some sources, Lucas did realize this, but wished to portray Han Solo as an absent-minded braggart who simply did not know what he was talking about. The bemused reactions of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker to Han’s quip suggest that this could be the case.

Maybe the distance instead refers to the relativistic distance travelled.

Last night I got home at three in the morning to find Jimmie talking on AIM to one of his uber-nerd friends from Nintendorks. They were talking about Star Wars and this book in particular: Han Solo and The Lost Legacy.

I don’t remember reading this one but it brought back all my memories of being the loser kid in sixth grade that didn’t play kickball in recess, but instead sat in the computer lab making animated Star Wars movies on the Macs. I was so engrossed in this movie making process that I even skipped my science class a few times, much to the chagrin of my teacher, Mrs. Brave. THAT IS DEVOTION GEORGE! I can’t remember exactly what the animations were about, but I do recall making countless version of the attack run on the first Death Star. I am sure this all sprouted from playing Rebel Assault and Dark Forces incessantly.

It didn’t stop with sixth grade either. My best friends Chris Wegerif and Chris Waggenor would sit with me outside of the front office every morning in eighth grade and talk about Shadows Of The Empire. Dare I say the best platformer game EVER? I do. But as we got older priorities changed. I blame it half on age and half on that damned Episode One. I honestly believe that the premiere of that film marked the first day of my backslide. Sixteen years since the last enthralling episode of the saga and all we got were a couple of non-descript characters, a mess of politics, and Jar Jar Binks? We should have seen this coming with Jar Jar’s first incarnation: Ewoks. And the Special Edition! Scoff! Dance numbers? Greedo shooting first?! Han Solo kills in cold blood. He is a space smuggler and that is their game.

But I digress. Wegerif got a girlfriend, Waggenor got sports, I got whatever I moved on to next (Beastie Boys?) And that was that. No more lounging in the pool on hot summer nights talking about all the mods we were going to make for Jedi Knight (for those less educated, mods were custom modifications made to computer games by normal users like you and I). My Star Wars novels were replaced by Phillip K. Dick and other more educated reading material. The trilogy was pushed to the back of the shelf to make way for bizarre French films about triangular relationships and people smoking.

Yes, yes, this is just another sad blog post relating some cultural phenomena to the passing of youth. All the hippest bloggers do it, so sue me. But today marks a new day in the history of Nick Martinolich. Today is the day I crack open my unfinished copy of Tales Of The Bounty Hunter. Tomorrow is the day Jimmie and I once again discuss the absurdness of scout troopers having no radio contact with the Imperial base on the Sanctuary Moon of Endor. What good are scout troopers if they have to return all the way to base to report? It is with great poise that I once again enter into the world that is Star Wars fandom. Massassi Temple here I come.

I just received an e-mail from my relationship and spiritual counselor, Wenzel. He and Malcom go way back.